Doner Kebabs Aren’t Quite So Nice When You’re Sober ARE THEY ?

        Help me ! Help me! I’ve got a cat inside my eye

        It’s crying out for help

        It’s crying out for some affection

        It’s crying out for some Tuna Whiskas

        But I’m in no position to help

        My ration book was stolen by a dishonest G.I.

        He said he’d get me some snouts

        and some chocolate

        With an option on some bananas

        But all he gave me was a broken heart/

                                                 nose/

                                         distressed cat in eye dilemma

                Mr Ponsonby’s Hernia #2

  Mr P : Doctor , my eyes are bleeding profusely .

 Doctor : I’m sorry Mr Ponsonby , I’m afraid you’ve got a hernia .